Here's another teaser for you...
I looked up at Chelsea worriedly, “I thought you were supposed to be shown how to do this properly – you know, at the opticians?”
She snorted, “Nah,” she said as if I was completely stupid and making me feel a bit of a baby over the whole thing.
“Oh, okay.” I said, immediately interested in learning something new, “Go on then – what do I have to do?”
She started to explain how to open my eye really widely and then to get the lens on the end of my finger and to place it on my eye and then to look left and right to get it in the right place on my eye.
Well, that sounded easy enough. I got the lens on the end of my finger and in my enthusiasm to have a go, I managed to poke myself in the eye – hard. “Christ!” I groaned, “that hurt...”
Chelsea started fussing around me, “Oh, my God – look at the state of you.” She looked at me in horror, “Josh is going to kill me...”
Why would Josh want to kill her? “He won’t.” I said as I nursed my stinging eye with my flannel, “He’ll probably just laugh at me.”
Her face said otherwise, which was slightly bemusing to say the least. “Look, have another go – but for chrissakes don’t do that to your other eye as well...” She was peering at me with an even more horrified look than the one she was wearing before...
“What?” I asked, “What’s the matter with my eye?”
She bit her lip, “It’s swelling up.” She whispered.
I frowned and looked back in the mirror. Holy crap. It really was swelling up... “Okay,” I said, “Well, maybe I’ll have a go with the other eye.”
I pursed my lips at her and gave her a glare with my good eye, “If you’re going to wimp out – go.” I said impressively – or at least, I felt kind of impressed with myself.
She shook her head, “Oh, God, no.” she said, “If he thinks I left you to your own devices, he’ll go spare...”
When the hell had Chelsea and Josh discussed me to the point of her knowing that he’d react so badly to me putting contact lens in my eyes badly? There was definitely something going on that she wasn’t telling me about...
I braced myself and had another go. “Holy hell!” I screamed as the contact lens touched my eyeball. “That stings like a bitch!”
“Get it out of your eye! Get it out!” Chelsea screamed.
In my haste to get the damned thing back off my eyeball I managed to poke myself in my one good eye, “Oh, my GOD!”
I think I managed to remove it, but my eyes were so sore and so closed up, I couldn’t actually see a damned thing anymore.
The next thing I knew, Josh’s voice was cutting over Chelsea’s rather shrill explanations and I made my way out to the landing – having to feel my way as I really couldn’t see a damned thing anymore. The next thing I knew, my knight in shining armour was whisking me off to A&E...