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Saturday 29 February 2020

Out Now!

 I jumped violently as the front doorbell rang for the very first time after the hour of seven o’clock, since I’d moved in, which was a while ago...
I made my way to the door on slightly shaky legs. It wasn’t exactly late – but I was a single gay man in a semi-rural location and I had no idea if the neighbours, who I’d spookily never met, were accepting of my ‘sort’ or not. I suspected not...
I peeped through the spyhole in the door but I really had absolutely no idea who was on the other side. Giving myself an internal talking to, I opened the door. I blinked as I found myself staring into the eyes of someone who wasn’t only very familiar – but he had absolutely no business being on my doorstep at all.
I swear I stood there in silence for at least two minutes with my mouth hanging open before I remembered my manners. 
The man in front of me was a TV star. A very famous TV star – in a very high-profile relationship with another very famous TV star-come-producer and his being here was not only surreal, it was fucking unbelievable. It took a fair few seconds before my brain kicked in and I stopped just staring at him in shock. “Hello.” I said, trying not to sound as though I was beyond excited that he was standing there. I’d been in love with this guy – obviously from afar – in the same way as I’d been in love with Justin Timberlake since I was about sixteen and Justin was singing ‘Sexyback’. God. I could still get a boner when that song came on – and ‘I don’t feel like dancing’ by the Scissor Sisters. 2006 was a great year... The same year I discovered an amazing soap called ‘Honeysuckle Avenue’ with the most exciting cast including newcomer, Nathan McGregor. His character was Orlando Warner and he was the long-lost son of the billionaire tycoon who was the big name of the show. It was a high profile show from one of the big gun producers, Woods Orson Productions and Warwick Warner was played by one of the highest paid older actors in Hollywood and with the rest of the cast being a good mix of household names and new blood, it was an instant hit. Well, I fell in love for the first time ever – with a guy...


Out Now!

Friday 28 February 2020

Meet the boys from the marina....

 I looked up, “Oh no.” I groaned. There was a tailback of traffic as far as the eye could see.
Dad patted my knee, “It’ll be fine, son. I know a short-cut.”
Well they were famous last words... Dad turned off and headed in the completely wrong direction. I looked around at the unfamiliar streets, “Where are we going, Dad?” I asked in mild panic.
“Your father knows these streets like the back of his hand…” Mum piped up proudly from the back seat.
I snorted as we passed a road sign, “Then why are we headed for Birmingham, right now?” I muttered. Seriously? Asking for help from Dad was sometimes a real challenge.
He grinned and patted my knee reassuringly, “I’ll loop back on the ring road, son. Don’t worry.”
El Paso

“Oh, my God.” I muttered as I shut the bedroom window. “Could they be more obvious?”
San Antonio and Seth were definitely getting more and more brazen. I was surprised they hadn’t been caught before now.
It was a stifling twenty-five degrees out there, which was surprising, since it was almost the end of September, and I preferred to have the windows shut with the air-con cranked up to max but Mum wasn’t a great fan of me spending all day and all night in my room and had come upstairs to ‘air’ the house.
She appeared in my bedroom doorway, almost giving me a heart attack. Usually she left me well alone… “Open that window and let some fresh air in!” she said, nodding to my window.
I bit my lip. If I opened the window, it would be all over for San Antonio and Seth – and they’d only just sorted everything out. There was just no way…
“I will in a bit.” I said, “I’ve just got the temperature in here perfect.”
Mum was in a bit of a mood, “Rubbish!” she said, marching towards my window, “I’ll do it myself!
Holy shit! She had hearing like a hawk. If she opened that window, San Antonio might as well kiss goodbye to his balls – because she’d be straight down the stairs and around to the treehouse to rip them off… “No!” I shouted, leaping off my bed and standing in front of her, “I said I’d do it. Just give me a minute!”
Maybe I’d been too hasty, or maybe Mum was having a Miss Marple moment, but she totally smelled a rat. “What are you hiding?” she asked suspiciously.
I blinked, “Nothing.” I replied, trying to look all innocent. It wasn’t me hiding anything. No doubt Seth was currently hiding the sausage but I didn’t really want to think about that right now, or ever, actually…
Mum narrowed her eyes, “Out of the way.” She demanded.
I sincerely hoped they’d finished and were now totally blissed out on each other and staring at the ceiling talking shit like they always did…
No such luck. As soon as the window was open, I could hear San Antonio and Seth as loud as anything...
Mum spun around and glared at me, “How long have you known this was going on?” she asked.
I shrugged, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I mumbled, “What’s going on?”
She came over to me and leaned down menacingly, “I’ll deal with you later.” She growled before sweeping out of my room.
I tried to send a text to San Antonio but there was no way he was going to have any inclination to read it. He was currently in the middle of what sounded like an amazing experience…



After Tiffany left, I lay on my bed for a good couple of hours just thinking about she’d said. I didn’t much care what she told anyone about me and El Paso. It wasn’t true… or at least, even if it was true that I felt more for him than I’d ever felt for her, it didn’t have to mean in a romantic way. There was no way I felt like that about him – we were just really good friends. She was just sore that I spent a lot of time with him and enjoyed his company.
I was just about to get ready for bed when another text came through.
I scrambled to a sitting position and fumbled for my phone.
All the tension I’d been feeling seemed to just drain away as I read the message.
“Are you still awake?”
I grinned and typed out an immediate reply, “Of course I am.”
“Good. Listen, can I call you instead of texting? I’m not a fan of getting writers’ cramp. I’ve got a better use for my right hand.”He sent an emoji of an aubergine and two laughing faces.
I shook my head. Chuckling to myself I sent back a smiley face. Seconds later, my screen lit up with a picture of El Paso pulling a silly face. I had no idea when he’d added that to my phone but it made me laugh all the same. “Hey, El.” I said.
His breathy voice came through loud and clear, "Lyle!" He exclaimed in a hushed whisper, "There's been a development."


Coming Soon...


“Well, well, well. What have we here?” 
I turned and my heart sank as I recognised the expression on the face of one of Blake’s teammates – it was the same expression as some of the guys in the audience when I was performing as Fallon Pheromone – lust – and with a heavy dose of alcohol coursing through his veins, I really didn’t want to be trying to appeal to his better nature.
Deciding that the best course of action was to be somewhere else, I slid off my stool and tried to get past him.
“Wow,” he murmured, looking me up and down and licking his lips, “Blake did good.”
“Thanks.” I said, “Excuse me.”
He shot an arm out and grabbed my wrist, “Not so fast, little lady.” He drawled, “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced. I’m Sheridan and I’m the best player on the squad.”
I wasn’t sure if he meant that he was good at football or was just a ladies man and I couldn’t have cared less. “Please let go of my arm.” I said, a feeling of revulsion going through me at his sweaty paw on my skin, “We don’t need an introduction. You saw me arrive with Blake – my boyfriend. Now please allow me to pass.”
He held his hands up in a surrender action, “I wasn’t trying to stop you pass, babe.” He said, “I was just admiring my good friend’s girl.” He chuckled, “Between you and me, I always thought he was a fag.”
My heart almost stopped, “Imagine that.” I managed to force out.
He grinned, “Yeah.” He said, “His career would be over.”
It was almost as if he was goading me. He knows. I thought in a bit of a panic. He knows who I am. “Well, lucky for Blake that he’s got me.”


“Hey, Dallas.”
I looked up and tried my best to arrange my face into a neutral expression. The guy that normally worked the weekend at the new pub I worked in was absolutely fucking gorgeous and he was working through the week for some reason, this week, too. Guess he must have some free time or something… “Uh, yeah?”
He smiled, “Can you check the barrel? Looks like it’s run out again.”
I nodded, trying my best to look as if I was totally in control of my emotions. I wasn’t let me tell you, I was completely besotted with him. I was so enamoured with him, in fact, that I could barely string a sentence together when I was around him. Something I’m sure he’d noticed. God, he must have thought I was a right dork…
I shot off to change the barrel, wondering if I’d ever be able to have a proper conversation with him, without getting all tongue-tied and pathetic.
As it happened, miracles did happen sometimes because when I got back from changing the barrel, he was still around – and incredibly, still intent on talking to me. How about that? The handsomest man I’d ever had the pleasure if meeting was, for all intents and purposes, chatting me up.