Wednesday, 30 March 2016


Today. I was going to tell him today.
I glanced at the clock on my bedside cabinet. Five to seven. Time to get up.
I sat up and grinned as I saw the door of my bedroom open slightly.
Silently, my new kitten, Fozzy, jumped up onto my bed and came stepping over my legs to nuzzle my face with his.
“Hello, boy.” I stroked him and was rewarded with a loud purr. “What do you reckon, huh? Think by some miracle he’ll realise that he feels the same way?”

He purred even louder. I sighed. I didn’t know and it was terrifying. I knew he loved me as his best friend – but anything more than that? Well, it didn’t matter anymore. I had to tell him how I felt. I guess I’d know by lunch time what that would do to our friendship…


Ben threw himself down on the ground, “Wow, look at that,” He said pointing up at the sky, “It’s a really clear night – look at all those stars!”
I got down and lay next to him, “Oh, yeah.” I murmured. I reached for his other hand and laced my fingers through his, “Isn’t it beautiful?”
He turned to me and nodded, his eyes sparkling in the light that was only being provided by the full moon above us, “Yeah.” He whispered, stroking my face with the hand he’d been pointing out the stars with, “So beautiful.”
I frowned. Was he still talking about the sky? Time to find out, “What is?” I asked a little flirtatiously, “Me?”
To my amazement and joy, he nodded slowly, “You’ve always been beautiful.” He said with a smile, “And you know it too.”
I smiled shyly at him, my heart beginning to pick up speed, “It’s still nice to hear you say it.” I said a little breathlessly.
He shifted position so he was leaning on his elbow and resting his head on his hand, “Why do you put up with me?” he asked.
I frowned up at him. Was that a trick question? “Uh?”
He sighed, “You know what I mean. Going out with all these girls when I’ve got you?”
Was this his big reveal? I didn’t know what to say, “But we’re just mates.” I said hoarsely.
He raised his eyebrows, “Are we?” he said, “Don’t you want to kiss me right now?”

Mortifying, that’s what it was. Mortifying.
I couldn’t actually believe my bad luck. I swear – my mother’s timing was worse than bad. We were just trying to bide our time until we went to uni in the autumn. We’d both be eighteen by then and had decided that we’d come out to them both – as adults – so they couldn’t really argue… And we’d be doing it together…
I’d had a bit of a thing for Dakota ever since I first laid eyes on him back when we were around fourteen and his school’s football team came to play against mine.
I wasn’t captain back then – I’d only really joined the team because my best mate, George, played and he talked me into it. I can’t deny that at first I was completely intimidated with all those guys. Being naturally shy – and discovering that I was actually more attracted to guys than girls – I was a little afraid that everyone would instinctively know I was gay and I’d be kicked off the team. As luck would have it, the PE teacher happened to also be gay and he had a zero tolerance policy for homophobic behaviour or for any other sort of bullying for that matter.
The first time I saw Dakota, I don’t really know how to describe how I felt – kind of like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. My heart started to beat really fast and I felt really hot. He was so damned beautiful it was quite ridiculous. I was actually quite angry with him for making me feel so out of control – I’d never felt that way before.
And he was so damned good at the sport too – he was, by far, the best player on their team – and yet he was so modest too. He never celebrated stupidly over scoring a goal – just ran off with a smile on his face as all the rest of his teammates jumped on each other and patted him on the back. His aloofness was what really intrigued me. I romantically thought of him as a lone wolf. A guy that couldn’t be tamed – one that would never be mine…

So, Jude had disappeared off to play hide and seek with Sam and his friends, Steve was sitting chatting to his girlfriend at the time and my eyes were darting all over the garden looking for Brooklyn. Where the hell had he gone?
“Looking for someone?” I about choked on my mouthful of burger at the voice right next to my ear.
“Oh!” I spun around and found myself staring up in his gorgeous blue eyes, “You scared me!”
He smiled and took a mouthful of his beer. “Sorry.” He said lazily. “If you’re looking for your boyfriend, he’s squealing like a girl over there with your little brother and his mates.”
I chuckled. “Jude is my cousin – not my boyfriend and I wasn’t looking for him.” I was looking for you…
Brooklyn’s eyes widened slightly, “Really?” he frowned, “Then why did Steve tell me he was?”
I shrugged; my heart beating a little faster at his closeness, “No idea – maybe he was winding you up.” Why would he do that?
“Maybe,” He murmured with a little frown. He took a step closer, “Madison?” he asked.
My breath hitched as I looked up to find his face ever so close to mine – so close in fact that I was able to feel his breath on my face. “Yes?”
He shook his head, “This is gonna sound so weird.” He mumbled.
“What?” I whispered.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.
My jaw dropped. What the hell was he doing, asking if he could kiss me? He was straight, wasn’t he? Still… Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth and having an instant woody at the very thought of tangling tongues with such a beautiful guy, I nodded, “Yes.” I breathed, “Course you can.”
He brushed his lips so gently against mine it was like a whisper on the wind. Perfection.