Myles was close, now. Too close. Sage felt hot all over and he didn’t know what to do with his arms. They all of a sudden felt too long and were just hanging at his sides. What was he supposed to do with them when Myles finally got his way and they kissed? What the hell was he supposed to do with his mouth when it was pressed tantalisingly next to Myles’ beautiful full lips? Should he use his tongue like they did in the movies or was that only in the movies and normal people didn’t do things like that? But hell, nothing was more sexy than watching Elio kiss Oliver in Call Me By Your Name. Elio’s tongue licking up Oliver’s mouth was something he’d watched a million times on YouTube. It was an incredibly sexy move and he’d been dying to use the same action on Myles ever since…
He was panicking now and he knew it. What was more, Myles would know too and then he’d want to know why – and then Sage would have to tell him that he’d never kissed anyone before and Myles would know that he’d lied in school about all of the girls he’d supposedly got off with and then he’d think he was pathetic and it would all be over…
“I’ll never leave you again.” Myles said huskily, emotion turning his voice gravelly, “I never wanted to leave you in the first place.”
“But you did.” Sage reminded him, “Because I told you to go and you left.”
He nodded, “I didn’t know what else to do. You didn’t seem to want me to stay and I didn’t want you to hate me by staying when you didn’t feel that way about me.”
Sage’s heart tightened in his chest. He’d always felt the same way about Myles but he’d had to protect them both against Danny’s violence. If Danny had any inkling that they were more than friends it would have ended in someone being, at best, badly hurt. He didn’t want to think of the worst-case scenario. “I felt the same way.” He whispered, “I’ve always…” he trailed off.
Myles closed the distance between them and gathered him into his arms. No words were necessary as he lowered his mouth to Sage’s and captured his lips in his own.
Sage felt his whole world shrink right down to their kiss. It was all that mattered, all that he could feel, all he could comprehend and all that he’d ever wanted. He had no idea if he was kissing Myles back properly, going more on what felt right in the moment than anything else. His tongue seemed to have instinctively developed a mind of its own and was chasing Myles tongue every time he felt it invade his mouth. It was heaven on earth and totally against his will, he felt his eyes welling up with tears. Holy shit, was he going to cry? Simply from being kissed by Myles? How utterly mortifying.
He pulled away, his breathing laboured and his body feeling shaky, “I think I need a minute.” He managed to choke out.
Myles blinked and nodded, “Uh, sure.” He said, “Take as long as you need.”
“Oh, God. I’m sorry.” Sage gasped, wiping his eyes on the backs of his hands, “I don’t know what’s the matter with me.”
Myles blinked, “You don’t?” he asked, “Oh.”
Sage wiped his eyes and looked at Myles, “What?” he asked with a bit of a snarl, “What do you think’s wrong with me?”
Myles shook his head, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” He said gently, “You’ve just been living without love…”
Sage opened his mouth to argue.
“I didn’t mean with your sister, mate.” Myles said softly, unwilling to poke the bear any more than he’d already done. “I know you love her and I can see that she loves you. What I meant was that you’ve been living without the sort of love that I can give you and I do love you, Sage, as inconvenient as it might have been for you when we were kids. I always have. I think I always will.”
Sage’s eyes filled up with new tears. Christ, he was becoming a total cry-baby. What the hell was wrong with him?
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