I looked at myself in the mirror of the salon and swallowed hard. In that instant, I hated Mandy. Hated her because, goddamitt,I looked about fifteen.
I’d always had a baby face and that was the main reason I sported my facial hair – to try to make me look at least my age. Clean-shaven and with my hair stripped back to my natural red, which as far as I knew hadn’t been seen in public since I was around thirteen when I started having it dyed dark brown to match my eyebrows and eyelashes, I looked ridiculous. Staring at myself in horror, it dawned on me that I looked like a flaming cherub. I’d always been more pretty than handsome. I scowled at my reflection, “What’s this?” I asked, “Are you trying to get me picked on? Who the hell doesn’t pick on a ginge?”
David grinned, “No one picks on people with ginger hair anymore.” He said, “You can thank Rupert Grint for that when you next bump into him. He’s totally made being ginger cool – and so has Ed Sheeran, Damian Lewis, Prince Harry...” He trailed off, running out of red-haired celebrities to prove me wrong with but even I had to admit, all of those guys were totally hot.
I grimaced. He was probably right but I still didn’t like to see myself the way I was supposed to look. It made me feel vulnerable. I was used to acting a certain way when I was out in public. It was a version of me, but it wasn’t the real me. Because the real me was still that kid Mum left to face the world on his own... and now I felt as if all of my confidence had been stripped from me and I was seeing the real me for the first time in ten years – and it really didn’t sit well with me. I was looking at the boy that believed his mother cared so little for him that she left without a backwards glance; the boy who went off the rails and picked on the one boy in school that would probably have been his friend if only he’d handled things better.
I’d been utterly heartbroken and convinced that she’d left me because I was gay with ginger hair... I knew that was ridiculous now; she’d just got sick and had died, but at the time it was very real. I hated being the little, skinny, red-haired and freckly Toby Prince – and I took it all out on some little blonde kid who’d been really sweet and whose only crime had been to try to befriend me. I was absolutely foul to him and I can only imagine how relieved he must have been when my family moved away – with Dad’s blossoming career.
I really didn’t like the person I’d become and took the opportunity when we moved to reinvent myself as a new Tobias Duvall. My new self was dark-haired. I was still full of sass and I still had a smart-arse mouth on me that got me into trouble – but I didn’t pick on people in an attempt to balance out my own failings. No, this time I decided to embrace my sexuality – much to Dad’s chagrin – and it worked. It got me noticed and got me more guys – and therefore more dick – than you could shake a stick at...
I’d been absolutely stoked when my beard started to grow through and was more or less the same colour as my eyebrows instead of my natural red hair colouring. That had been a total stroke of luck.
The red hair aside, I was still pissed off. He could dress it up anyway he liked but this was definitely a punishment for bringing the Duvall brand into disrepute and no one – me especially – wanted the media sniffing around the restaurants, making my punishment into some sort of reality TV circus. It was bad enough that I’d got no real choice in what was happening. I did have a choice. Of course, I had a choice. I could leave without a penny and make my own way in the world – but that was extreme and I was, essentially, a spoiled brat. I had no idea how to make a normal man’s wages last from one day to the next, never mind pay rent, bills and buy my own food. I was as far removed from reality as it was possible to be. I made the ‘Made in Chelsea’crowd on the TV look modest... I was an absolute disgrace.
I really was a bit pathetic when I took a hard look at myself – something I wasn’t prone to doing because I really didn’t like what I saw – it reminded me that I hadn’t really changed all that much over the last ten years...
I should have told Dad to stick his money years ago when I left for university. I’d lived with common people back then and I’d enjoyed their company and I’d gotten used to living a much simpler existence. But then I’d gone home – back to the lavish lifestyle and back to my real ‘friends’ who’d all talked me out of trying to find my own way in the world and really what the else was I gonna do? I was good for absolutely nothing– my business degree was pretty much worthless. If I tried to make my own way in the world, no one would hire me for my actual worth – only for my name and what they could get out of who I was. I was screwed whichever way you looked at it.
I guess to some people I was a pretty big deal. I was, after all, Tobias Duvall, eldest son of Darren Duvall, TV chef extraordinaire. I was deemed to be some sort of international playboy... I was on the cover of every gay magazine – and most other magazines and newspapers for that matter – but not for anything that I’d done that was worthwhile.
They were usually candid snaps of my friends and I falling out of nightclubs with various dubious hangers-on... I might be able to boast a great sex life – but at the end of the day, it was just meaningless sexual encounters with a load of random guys that wanted a bit of notoriety... It was all just so shallow and empty and quite frankly I was getting kind of tired of it. I didn’t dare admit that to any of my friends though. They’d all think I was a pussy – a quitter... But where the hell were our lives heading? I couldn’t mess around with numerous horny guys forever... someday I wanted someone to love...
I was, if I was going to be completely honest with myself, as equally relieved for something to do as I was pissed off. To be forced to have a break from my so-called friends and everything they stood for was actually quite a nice change.
They were off on holiday to some exotic island for their spring break and I was supposed to be joining them at some point. I’d been pretty vague about it, wanting to distance myself from them anyway, but now I had to do this for a month so there was no way I’d be able to leave and party with them.
The excuse I’d given them was exhaustion. They’d laughed and told me to make sure I’d got my stamina back for a massive blowout party once I got there. The sad thing was that they wouldn’t really care whether I was there or not. No one was going to miss me. Not really...
I caught the eye of my stylist, Mandy. “I look like a kid.” I grumbled.
She smiled back at me, “Actually, I thought you looked really handsome.” She said, “Handsome and wholesome and young and full of ambition.”
I resisted the urge to look back in the mirror and rolled my eyes at her instead, “Yeah, whatever.” I grouched. Wholesome? Was she having a laugh? I was about as far removed from ‘wholesome’ as it was possible to be. Man-whore was a closer description – hence the punishment...
She chuckled, “I prefer you like this than the swarthy prima donna that walked in here.”
I shrugged, slightly hurt at her choice of description, “Yeah, well...”
Uncle David appeared at my side and looked at me through the mirror, “That’s a whole lot better.” He said, beaming at me.
I scowled up at him, “I look like a kid.” I grumbled.
He shook his head, “No.” He said, “You look like a fine young man that’s about to find out what a real day’s work is like.”
I pulled another face. David shook his head, “This will be good for you, Tobias.” He said firmly, “Your dad and I know what hard work is all about. We had nothing when we started this business and we worked our arses off to get where we are today. All you’ve ever done is piss it up the wall.”
I frowned. Seriously? He was making me out to be some sort of loser... I wasn’t a loser. It wasn’t my fault that I’d grown up wanting for nothing... I knew there were people in the world worse off than I was... I’d just never really thought about it because it had never affected me before.
David grinned at my discomfort, “Welcome to the real world, Tobias. You’re going to be rubbing shoulders with real people.”
I raised an eyebrow, “I’ve rubbed far more than just shoulders with real people before, you know – some of the ‘real’ guys you’re talking about go to posh nightclubs too and they like to have a bit of TV royalty rubbing them up the wrong way – or the right way as it were.” I grinned and winked.
David gave me one of his looks. He hated it when I got lewd. “There’s really no need for you to talk about your sex life to me. I don’t share intimate details with you about mine – I’d prefer it you could extend me the same courtesy.”
Prudish bastard. I shrugged, looking at myself in the mirror again. Jesus. I couldn’t get over my naturally carrot-red hair? But why red? Why couldn’t he have made me a blonde? Dad was just being cruel now... “Yeah, whatever.” I said.
David smiled at me, “Oh, and Tobias – you have an apartment that’s reasonably close to the restaurant. You have one month’s allowance to allow you to get by until you get your first week’s wages and then you’re expected to get by on the same as all of your colleagues.”
My jaw dropped, “You have got to be kidding me.”
He shook his head, “Your dad wants you to understand a little of what he went through at your age.”
“But that’s so pointless.” I whined.
He shrugged, “He’s the boss.” Was all he said and then he was gone.
Coming Soon... Available now for pre-ordering. Release date 30th September 2018.
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