“Gerard?”
“Mmm?”
“Did you, uh, did you…” he was absently twisting a finger around and around one curl that was next to his ear and I was kind of fascinated with watching him, “oh, never mind.” He turned away.
No. You can’t turn away from me, I’m not done looking at you yet, “Did I what?” I asked.
He turned back and looked up at me with those bluer than blue eyes, “Did you freak out about the kiss as much as I did, earlier?” He’d gone so red it had reached the tips of his ears, which was endearingly cute, to say the least.
I laughed with relief that it wasn’t just me who was getting freaked out, “Yeah.” I admitted, “I really did – it was uh, kind of intense.”
“Is that why you left?” he whispered, looking so mortified with himself that I felt guilty for leaving, now. It had been an intensely intimate and personal moment for both of us and I’d handled it really badly.
To be fair, I’d totally freaked out at the way it had made me feel. I’d never reacted like that to anyone before, never mind another man. Okay, so I’d been following his career with quite a lot of interest, but I’d been quite convinced that my interest in him was kind of second-hand and was really only down to Gina’s ravings about how beautiful he was and how talented.
The more I thought about it though, the more I was beginning to realise that okay, my interest had been piqued by Gina, there was no doubting that – but all the saved clips of his interviews and gifs of his movies were entirely down to me. I’d been quietly obsessing over him for months… How had I not realised?
I nodded. I really didn’t want to start explaining myself but thankfully he didn’t seem to need that either.
He smiled, “Thank God.” He said, “I panicked so much I called my friend. She said she thought I was gay…”
I stared at him, “What did you just say?” I asked. Please God. Tell me I misheard him…
He went bright red, “She thinks I’m gay.” He said, “She knows I’ve always admired you…” his breathing was quickening as he spoke.
My jaw dropped. This was becoming kind of stressful. I thought he had a girlfriend! In fact, I knew he did. Gina never stopped going on about his girlfriend. So, who the hell was this friend he was calling? Shouldn’t he be calling his girlfriend? I felt old all of a sudden. These young kids these days – they just didn’t have relationships anymore. It was all blurred lines between best friends and lovers… “Is working with me going to be a problem for you?” I asked. Holy shit. This was getting worse by the minute.
He shook his head, “Oh, my God, no. No!” he insisted, “I’m a professional! I can handle this, I promise.”
I nodded. I was glad that one of us could because I was really beginning to think that I couldn’t… “I’ll uh, I’ll help you in any way I can.” I could step up and be a professional too. I could…
He nodded, “Thank you – that means a lot. Would you do me a massive favour then and kiss me again?”
What the hell was I supposed to do now?
I turned to him to tell him that I didn’t think that was such a good idea right now but he lunged across the bed at me and covered my surprised mouth with his own.
I found myself responding to him almost immediately. Hell, he was good at this kissing lark. I’d never been all that into it before, but now... Jesus, I felt as if I could kiss him all damned night and still not tire of it. Making out with him through this movie was going to be easy – it was going to be when the movie ended that I was going to find it hard. Going back to London, to Gina – who I loved but had never really felt passionately about, while Jason, who was beginning to make me question my whole life so far, went back to New York…
I pulled away, “This isn’t the best idea, Jason.” I said. Because I’m enjoying your kisses too damned much. They’re doing stuff to me that I don’t recognise… “We really need to get some sleep, it’s going to be long day tomorrow.” Okay, so it was an excuse. I just didn’t understand what was happening to me.
He nodded, his beautiful eyes looking up at me sleepily, “You’re right.” He said, “But I needed to get my head straight. Thanks for putting up with me.”
Putting up with him? Hell, if this was putting up with someone, I’d take it over anything else for as long as I lived. For the first time in my life, I felt comfortable with the way I felt – albeit in a really uncomfortable way. His kisses had done something to me. They’d switched something on in me that hadn’t been there before. What I was going to do with that difference however, was something I hadn’t really worked out, yet…
“Right,” I said, “I’ll uh, I’ll turn over, then.”
He nodded, “Thanks again, Gerard.” He said softly, “I know I’m a big old pain in the ass.”
I grinned, “You’re fine.” I said, “Just fine.”
Out Now!
I tried to recall the events of the previous evening. I vaguely recalled drinking a little too much whisky and then I remembered staggering off to bed after feeling a little foolish for blurting out that he was hot when all I’d meant to do was think it to myself.
Only I clearly didn’t make it to my bed... I was very definitely in Jermaine’s. I pulled the covers back and looked down. Phew. Still wearing my boxers – so nothing too naughty could have happened between us. Maybe I should check his too...
I turned over and jumped. His beautiful green eyes were staring into mine and he had a little smile on his lips, “What are you doing?” he whispered.
“Just checking something.” I whispered back. Leaning up on my elbow, I bit my lip and looked him in the eye cautiously, “Please tell me I didn’t make a horribly inappropriate move on you last night?” I asked him.
He smiled and shook his head, “You didn’t make a horribly inappropriate move on me – don’t worry.”
I sagged back down on the mattress, “Oh, thank God.” I breathed.
He frowned as he looked at me, a slightly hurt look on his beautiful face, “Jeez,” He murmured, “Am I that bad?”
I could have cut my tongue out of my mouth with a spoon for making him feel bad about himself. I shook my head emphatically, “Lord, no.” I said, “You’re amazing. By far the nicest guy I’ve ever met.”
His frown turned to a scowl. “Gee, thanks.” He said sarcastically, “I just love being everyone’s nice guy.”
I was making a total hash of everything, which was something I was prone to do when I was nervous. And I was feeling very nervous right now – being this close to him and in a bed, I was getting a woody just looking at him and that could only lead us both into trouble... “I-I’m r-really sorry,” I stammered, “I’m awkward in real life. I might come across on the b-big screen as this really well put t-together, h-happening guy that’s got a girl in every p-port – which obviously I h-haven’t since I realised I was g-gay even before I started d-dating – and a m-million followers on Twitter means absolutely nothing, l-let me tell you. I suck at relationships. I suck at even k-keeping in touch with the p-people I really love. I’m a disaster and you’ll be well rid of me when I g-go.” All of that came out in a bit of a rush.
He smiled and shook his head, “Shut up Nate.” He said and lowered his face to mine and planted a firm kiss on my lips. Pulling away he looked at me, “I’m going to go and brush my teeth – and so are you,” he rolled off the bed and stood up, “and then we’re going to try that kiss again – properly with tongues and everything.” I blinked at his forthrightness. “And then I’ll let you know if you suck at stuff.”
Out Now!
"I really like you, Eden. Do you think we can be friends?"
I smiled, “Of course.” I said, “I feel like we’re already friends and I’m going to be here for a couple of weeks, while the media storm dies down a little. Hopefully the government will make a hash of something and take the heat off me for a while.”
Fabien laughed, “You’ll be back for the weekend, then.” He said, “I hear they’re always making a hash of everything.”
I chuckled, “That’s politicians for you.” I agreed. Biting my lip, I decided to be brave, “You can stay with me, if you want to.” My heart was in my mouth. What the hell had come over me? I’d never been so bold before in my life! “I could do with the company.”
Fabien blinked, “Really?” He asked.
I nodded, “Sure.” I agreed.
“I will pay you something towards the rent – you can’t be staying here for free and I do not wish to sponge off you.”
I smiled, “Fine.” I said, “You can buy me dinner tonight.”
Fabien’s smile widened, “Take you out for dinner?” he asked, “That sounds like a date.”
I could feel my face heating up, “No, no.” I said hurriedly, “Just two friends going out for dinner.”
His smile didn’t move, his eyes twinkled, “Spoilsport.” He said, “I wanted to look like the luckiest man on the planet.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Uh?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes, “Have you seen you?” he asked, “Any guy would be crazy not to want to go on a date with you.”
I blushed, “Stop it.” I muttered, “You’re embarrassing me.”
He touched my arm, “I’m not trying to embarrass you. I’m trying to let you know how much I like you.”
I blinked, “Really?” I asked, “You like me…? Like, really like me, like that, like me?”
He laughed, “Yes.” He said, “Like I want to kiss you and I can’t stop watching your mouth because it’s fascinating, like you.”
Wow. “I think I like you like that, too.” I said. I bit my lip and looked up at him from under my eyelashes, willing him to understand, “But I’m not sure I can go there, yet. Can you be patient with me?”
He nodded, “Of course.” He said, “But I really would like to kiss you on our date.”
I smiled as butterflies took off inside me for about the tenth time, “Let’s just see how it goes.” I said. I was pretty sure I’d want to kiss him by the end of our date, too.
Coming Soon!
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